Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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