I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
