Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize