he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize