I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Randomize
