Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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