We're like a lot better than the average bears
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think I am morally bankrupt
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Enjoy the penises
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
