I think i sorta joined a cult last night
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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