I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
