Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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