you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
