All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
