Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
