i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
