i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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