sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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