I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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