she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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