Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
