i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
