this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I love having hate sex.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
