Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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