You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
