.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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