i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is wine microwaveable?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
