i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
