Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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