I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
40s are totally the cure
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
