Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
