mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
