nut hugger
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
