dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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