So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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