Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
FUCK WHALES
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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