i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
