he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
