im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
