i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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