i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
