Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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