When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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