There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
