he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
