Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You dont lie about slip and slides
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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