i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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