I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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