end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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