Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
