she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
