so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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