she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
