I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
