If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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