Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I smell stomach acid.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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