Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
