I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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