Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize