Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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