i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
