Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
