real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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