i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
