guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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