All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize