All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
