best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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