Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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