naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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