And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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