I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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