VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
