Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
