It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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