You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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