PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
