Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
