I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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