Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
