trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
